I'm a Steve Urkle by nature but a Stefan Urkle with the broads (I have named it and claimed it, eff y'all handsome gang ninjas, and "I been getting hoes since pre-k" playas - you don't and can't understand my struggle, mein kampf even - shout out to Perp)
So as I'm rapping with a chick, the scientist is always taking notes, gathering data, making extrapolations, tweaking the hypothesis, and altering the experiment. I've seen the patterns. I'll let you in on what i've learned of running through all manner of broads. Domestic and Foreign, English Speaking and ESL. Every color of the rainbow. Short Term and Long Term.
Now, I'm assuming you're a millennial or a Gen Z cat.
All of y'all grew up on the internet. All of your socialization is stunted. Not just you personally, but all men, and all of the women. Especially the women.
Don't down yourself for the time/environment you grew up in. Indeed, there are so many people out there trying to take you down already, especially as a Black Man, that you need to have more than just good self esteem, but DELUSIONAL self esteem.
Gen X cat like myself, our socialization was stunted by TV. We still had a lot more face to face/offline interaction than y'all. I can't tell you the damage that was done to my psyche by WKRP in Cincinnatti and Good Times.
My parents were stunted by radio.
Now my Granny n'nem (RIP) they were prolly messed up by the newspaper....
But way back then That's when "How to Win Friends and Influence people" was written.
So rapping with people, be it ones you know or randoms, has always been an issue.
You think you're really off in terms of socialization, but everyone has always been off. Almost everyone around you doesn't feel right, like they get it, like they know what they're doing.
Studies say that most people are extroverts, they get hype off of interacting with people.
The studies are wrong. People are not extroverts, they WISH THEY WERE EXTROVERTS. Even in our culture, most of these females is in groups talking to themselves not even chatting with other women. Most the dudes are playing the wall. It ain't really till the alcohol and music hit that strangers stop being
strange. It's even worse in other communities...
But he fact that most people wish they were "social", is the first part of the game.
They wish they could say what they want.
And that's your angle. You're gonna give any man, child, granny, cop, cashier, and IG thot the chance to really speak from the heart.
The Game is ultimately about delivering those feelings, that sense of self, that she cannot get on her own.
And when you give her something intangible, and to keep getting that from you, she gives you something
tangible.
That said, as men, we basically have
- the burden to approach
- the burden to say the first words
- the burden to make things live
- the burden to keep things going
- the burden to say the things she won't
- the burden of doing all the nonverbal stuff to get her to a place of understanding.
So even if you're starting from a deficit that all men your age are starting from, and these hoes have weird and sky high requirements - recognize that even with all these things going against you - the bar is still LOW.
Pookie n'nem aren't socialized enough to see all this socialization BS. IMO, that's how they can run up in all these broads, be they Jenny from the Block, saddity College chicks, or high falutin PhD's... There's a woman behind all that BS.
In my estimation, from putting cats on SQUARE game for like 15 year or so,
You really need to do this one thing to get your verbal game up to par.
Talk to random mf'ers all the time with the purpose of uncovering a passion.
The Next YOUNG female (for me that's 40 and under, for you that might be 25 and under) you see - be it a customer at the store, cashier, on the bus, at the train, at school, at work - ask them one question
Lemme ask you one question, Beyonce or Rihanna?
I don't elaborate on it. Be it their music catalogue, their persona, who she relates to, etc. Let the broad define it and speak on it.
I just started using that today, and the topic alone is something that OPENS THE DAMN FLOOD GATES.
Talking to random mf'ers, asking questions, pausing to get them to fill in more of how they feel - just giving a broad a chance to speak on something SHE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT (even if she don't know it) - that puts you LEAGUES above the random dude.
The game is not about saying the smoothest stuff, or having the best comeback line. If that's what you want, you need to start roasting fools and getting roasted.
No.
Gift of Gab is what lames see in Pimps. IMO, Pimps don't see that in other Pimps. But being that I'm talking square game, cause I'm regular polygon like a mug - I don't want to speak on that which I don't really know.
As a dude that's run through chicks, when I see a dude light a chick up, light her friends up - I know he has game. Especially when he's not being a clown, telling jokes, or dancing. When he's just conversating and getting them to emote... It's on like Donkey Kong.
The game is about GETTING HER TO FEEL SOMETHING, i.e. BRINGING SOMETHING OUT OF HER.
This game goes FAR BEYOND picking up broads, but "sold not told".
If you can ask simple things, make simple statements, and get the chick flowing from her own survival scrolls - be it positive or negative (ideally both) - you have something that most men CANNOT CONTEMPLATE.
Most dudes want to work out, want to wear tight clothes, want to work, want to show off their riches, want to roll with the strongest crew. There's a lot to be said about that. I would call all of that
passive attraction. It works.
But I want you to do
active attraction. You're making something out of nothing. If you ever see an average dude with a very hot female, and he looks like a bum - it's because he's got her mind. What he's giving to her is something on the psychological tip that 6 Figures Dude or 6 Pack dude can't give her. The hotter she is, the more run of the mill those guys are.
So the principles here
Are always talk to broads about things that they're passionate about.
Never talk to a broad about stuff you're passionate about. (Like no FEMALE wants to hear me wax philosophical about Sara Jay and Gianna Michaels ushering in the PAWG era and changing the face of modern dating, or how Big L, had he lived, would have faded away like everyone else in DITC...I digress)
You need to ask follow up questions, clarifications.
But it don't need to be "active listening" level of follow up questions. You're not a therapist.
Stuff like, you 1) put on a face of misunderstanding and then say 2) "Really?"
The broad will double down and get more emo.
So the verbal game is
not about you having a comeback for everything she puts out, it's you getting her to speak on stuff that she's passionate about.
Since you didn't pay for this, I'm giving you a money back guarantee. Approaching broads like this will sky rocket your game.
Your ability to get emotions out of females is the crucial first step in this.
There are 2 more steps, but you just asked about the verbal part of the game.