This needs to be said cause im tired of reading some of the post im seeing. This post comes from bradd80 he is a moderator over at sosuave many will like what he says ...and many want . Its kinda long but its worth it .
LESSON IV: CONFIDENT PERSISTENCE AND THE 6 GUIDING PRINCIPLES OF BEING A DON JUAN
Some guys are too quick to next a girl. Every guy has his limits when chasing a girl, make sure you know yours. Understand when it's time to keep trying to win over the girl, and when its time to give up, cut your losses, and move on.
But if you can learn to put up with the flaky behavior, you will find that the key to women, the key to being surrounded by women, the key to being the envy of all your friends, and the key to being a Don Juan... is Confident Persistence.
Confident Persistence (CP) consists of deciding what you want, and going for it... and doing it with a smile, despite the numerous obstacles which you will most likely encounter along the way.
Obstacles could, for example, include things like: she doesn’t return your call, she breaks or reschedules the date, she doesn’t flirt with you or laugh at your jokes, she’s hard to talk to, she seems interested in someone else, and, in general, she doesn’t put herself out or go out of the way to convey that she’s interested in you.
In other words, the obstacles are simply how a girl would act who is not HIGHLY INTERESTED in you.
And the most common mistake that guys make when employing this strategy is NEXTing a woman too soon. They flirt with a woman, and she doesn’t flirt back - NEXT. They leave a message on her machine, and she doesn’t call back - NEXT. They plan a date but she calls at the last minute to cancel - NEXT.
In short, they NEXT any woman who doesn’t display IMMEDIATE HIGH INTEREST.
What’s wrong with this you say?
Well the MISTAKE here is that you’re filtering women based simply upon their INITIAL level of interest in you. You’re filtering women based upon whether they are IMMEDIATELY attracted to you or not.
This is a WEAK strategy and not one employed by a true Don Juan. It reeks of low confidence, a fragile ego, and fear.
And it’s also a BAD strategy.
It’s bad because you’re expecting a woman that you just met, that you may have only talked to for 3 or 4 minutes, or less, to display signs of high interest. You’re expecting some woman that you hardly know, and who hardly knows you, to get excited at the prospect of spending time with you.
So lets talk about a way you can pursue her in such a way that you come across as being DESPERATE, like most of your fellow Non Juans do, like most guys in this world do. Or you can pursue in such a way that you appear CONFIDENT, STRONG, CHARISMATIC... like a Don Juan does.
So let’s talk about how a Don Juan pursues women. Let’s talk about the 6 major characteristics of confident persistence:
A Don Juan is always in complete control of his emotions. He doesn’t get mad when a girl fails to return his call. He doesn’t become depressed when she breaks the date. He doesn’t get jealous when she flirts with some other guy. He doesn’t become irate when she doesn’t show up at the restaurant or she shows up late.
He doesn’t react in any of these ways because he EXPECTS these little annoyances to occur. He understands that women are flaky. Women are moody. Women are illogical and very inconsistent. (Especially women with low to moderate initial interest.)
Some guys are too worried about getting hurt, too worried about being taken advantage of, too worried about being made a fool of, and too worried that things are going to turn out badly... to be very effective at pursuing women.
A Don Juan does not worry about these things. A Don Juan is not afraid of rejection, he’s not afraid of being used, he’s not afraid of looking foolish, and he’s not afraid of failing.
His self-esteem is high and firmly grounded. He’s happy and loving life. And the actions of a few flaky, moody, and illogical ladies are not going to change that. And it’s this base of high self-esteem that gives him the confidence to pursue women that seem to be not all that interested in him.
We expect problems. We expect obstacles. We expect that she probably won’t return our call, or that she’ll cancel the date, or that she won’t show up, etc.
Getting women is not always easy. Sometimes we have to work a little bit. But like they say, anything worth having is worth working for.
One of the main reasons a Don Juan is able to control his emotions, that he doesn’t get upset or worry about things, is that he’s always pursuing numerous women at the same time.
He realizes when he begins his pursuit of any one particular lady, that things may not work out. He may never get her and he’s fully prepared to deal with the situation. So he has other options.
Do you really think you’d sit around worrying, or get upset, or concern yourself with "protecting your ego" if you had a date with Susan on Wednesday, a date with Kelly on Friday, two other women calling you all the time, and a stack of 9 or 10 different phone numbers sitting on your dresser?
Of course not, you’d be relaxed and confident. When a girl doesn’t return your call, it wouldn’t faze you a bit. When she cancels at the last minute, you’d feel like laughing. When you see her flirting with some other guy, you’d kick back and enjoy the show.
The fact that women play games and test men does not make them bad people. It just means that they have lots of options (many guys who are interested in them) and they have had to come up with tests (often administered in a non-conscious fashion) as a way of filtering their pursuers into the Average Guys and the Real Men.
For example, she may be very very attracted to you and still not return your phone calls, or she might break a date, or flirt with other guys, or some other such thing. Why?
Because she knows, from years of reading Cosmo and discussing "strategy" with her friends, how to play the game. She knows about playing hard to get, hot and cold, social proof, being busy, etc. And when she finds a man that she really really wants (that would be you, Don Juan), by golly, she’s going to use all these little tricks and techniques to try and keep him.
So don’t let it upset or confuse you. Take it as a compliment that she’s putting in all this effort to keep you interested.
The entire basis for employing CP is knowing that you are, not just a great guy, but the best guy she’s ever going to meet. You KNOW down deep in you soul, that if you could just get a block of her time (a date or two) that you could blow her away and make her forget every other guy she’s ever known.
Beautiful women are everywhere. Go to any mall, or nightclub, or office building, or just walk down a crowded sidewalk. Beautiful women are not that rare. You see them all the time.
But YOU ARE RARE. You’re a Don Juan. How many guys do you think are Don Juans? How many do you think are really good with women? Well, my friend, it’s very very few. That I know for a fact. But if I had to make an educated guess, I’d say maybe 3 out of 100 guys are good with women, and maybe 1 out of 1000 is Don Juan good with women.
Any Bond fan knows that James does not always have immediate success with the ladies. Sometimes the women are not interested in him, sometimes they despise him, sometimes they’re bitter evil enemies, and sometimes they actually want him dead.
Do these "minor" obstacles ever bother James? No way. Whenever a woman acts like she’s uninterested, despises him, or wishes he were dead, what does he do? He just smiles.
He knows that NO WOMAN can resist him... FOR LONG. He knows that he’s special. And he employs all of the above principles of CP to charm and disarm the ladies.
So when playing the field of beautiful ladies, keep the principles of CP in mind: never get upset, forget your ego, don’t be lazy, accept the tests and games, have plenty of options, and, most importantly, always remember that you’re a Don Juan and any lady would be lucky to even have a shot at you.