Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[True Blue Moon]

@AdvantageSouthpaw Honestly, going too far and then backing off a little bit is part of the game anyway. Even when you're in person, you might start kissing her neck and even though she wants it, she might brush you off. It's not a rejection, just time to chill for a minute before escalating again.

Nine times out of ten when a chick that you know is feeling you backs away, it just means she's either not warmed up enough yet or wasn't feeling the particular move you made.

You did right by not getting all upset or making it a big deal. As you see, she was enthusiastic still when you set up the date.

 

[MisterMajesty]

Men are subject to a value scale just like women, but not physically. We are judged by our social interaction styles.

Men 5 and below do not exist socially. I've only heard myths about such people. If you are introverted to a point of pain, if you talk but feel like no one is listening, if you are, in a word, invisible, you are nonexistent to men and women alike. I suggest speech therapy.

Male 6s are supplicators. These are your beggars, pleaders, and simps. They try to buy affection or guilt people into hanging out with them because they are insecure about their personal value. You are a male 6 if you would describe yourself as, "submissive". You know you are talking to a male 6 because you just feel bad for the guy. Although we are 6 figures 6 certs gang around here I doubt any thorough bread Coli man is a mere 6.

Male 7s are rebels. They are just as insecure as 6s, in fact, these types are likely to be former 6s who decided to fight back. These are the types of people who try to demean others to feel better about themsleves. Haters are 7s. Guys who say, "I didn't want you anyway hoe, you ugly" after getting rejected are 7s. Hormonal thriteen year old little brothers who decide to "buck the system" are 7s. You're more attractive than a 6, but you're just as annnoying. Stop being a 7.

Male 8s are competitors. This where the vast majority of attractive men will place. They are secure in their own value and their defining social interaction is the need to win. They will compete with you for chicks. They will compete with you in Madden. They will compete with you on your career and they will compete with you on the grill. If you like to compete and win, that means your testosterone levels are working properly and you don't have to over think it too much with women. You've probably experienced enough success with them to know that (and more success than most of your boys as well). However, there's another level that you have yet to reach.

Male 9s are cooperative. These men are secure enough in their value that they no longer feel the need to compete. They've come to understand that two or more people can succeed at the same time, and achieve even more by working together than they could seperately. The word for male 9s is, "synergy". These men are truly charistmatic. They smile easy. They are lavish with compliments. People in their precence straight up feel better, and these guys absolutely melt vaginas.

There are no male 10s. Always be improving.

I'd wager most guys are puttting effort into becoming male 8s. I'm here to say that the most productive use of your time is learning how to be a leader, not another gladiator. Ask yourself how you and this person you just met could possibly win together. Stop looking at interactions with women as a battle for someone to get their way over the other, and see them for what they actually are: a chance to open up a third possibility where you two
enjoy time spent together more than you would've if you were apart (whatever that may entail).

Men are attractive in direct proportion to how good they make the people around them feel.

I thank the gods for my new job, i can honestly say that I'm a 9, and have been for a while. My only weakness was two things. A. Fitness (i lost a huge amount of weight from being stabbed with a rusty knife, which led to appendicitis) and B. Funds, no job, no life. Working sales, you gotta approach everyone. Good looking, ugly looking, male, female. It's honestly taught me even more, that good looking people are just that.

People. This closing year, right before my birthday is going to be a real defining year for my life. I thank everyone, from B-boy to reincarf (sp?) for this thread and the gems shared, it's actually why I joined in the first place (along with the prodigy pic)

 

[HearNoEvil]

Not sure what to make of it. My date that I hit it off with got weird on me.

The day before it was enthusiasm, setting up the next date, etc. She even paid for most of the date because she was late.

She plays volleyball and I was teasing her about it:

Me: Don't tear a calf muscle tonight. I don't have any extra ice packs for you to use ;)
Her: I thoroughly stretched today!
Me: Well prevention is always the best approach. You can always borrow my foam roller.
Me (next day): I think I'm just going to skip the foam roller and massage your legs instead.
Her: I've gt one and use one, but um... Thanks for the offer...

WHOA. I kissed this girl the other night and shyt. I don't know if she's not touchy feely or what, but I clearly have romantic intentions with her.

I'm letting it cool off a sec. Maybe change the subject, what? I'm horrible at texting BTW.

Generally, every text you send is a loss of momentum. Avoid baby sitting your phone breh. You did come across as overeager.

But you picked up on your mistake, learned, and got back on the horse. You're doing fine.

i dont know homie. u said u're 6'1 right. always use that to ur advantage and stop trying to treat these women like angels. after a good date, always, always escalate. invite her over to ur spot. the sooner u fucck a girl, the sooner u get to securing urself in her mind. without sex, ur just a passing memory to a lot of these women.

but after that long ass text, u didnt need to double text. i understand how it feels to want someone so bad that u end up talking urself into doing things u shouldnt have done..i.e. texting her when she didnt respond to your last text. if u cant control yourself, delete that entire text history between u and her so ur not tempted to double post again.

and stop making these lame ass "im trying so hard to impress you" jokes. sh1t like this is neon sign to girls that this guy is trying to win my affection...which is ironically a turn off.

You reminded me of something I need to be doing. Appreciate it man.

Every time you get told, "no", that's a sign that you're improving. For that reason alone you should always be escalating.

 

[Sharp]

I don't care how much a woman says that she is in love with, do not commit to having kids with her and avoid getting her pregnant.

"You never truly know a woman until you have a kid with her."

And no matter how great she is, in all cases, you will be at her mercy. It doesn't play out that bad if you have a good woman that respects you, but we all know that woman can turn cold instantly. Even after marriage understand how it will all play out. You have a kid, the kid becomes her priority, she becomes a tyrant, if you don't do what she says you will take your kid and you will be on child support and visitation. Kids are a liability simply because women can use them as pawns to keep you doing what they want. Your relationship with your child is dependent upon your relationship, no matter what they tell you. It is the difference between being a full time parent and a weekend visitor. Don't risk it. The odds are against you.

 

[HearNoEvil]

A girl who likes you will attempt to make you emotional. She's not "playing games" and this is non-negotiable.

If you want her, the way you prove yourself is by passing her tests. Do not become emotional. She will insult you. She will ask for something illogical. In extreme cases she will straight up ignore you. All of this is to see how you react. If it seems like she's suddenly bullshytting you, she really is, and this is a good sign. Out-of-the-blue insults or requests signal major attraction. I am more troubled by a woman who doesn't try to test me than one who does.

"Hold this for me"=Test
"Why are you knocking like a wuss?!"=Test

^Both recent tests that were used on me. You should be looking out for things like these and taking them as positive validation.

If you remain unfazed, you get that much closer.

(Context: if a girl shows no other signs of liking you and starts bullshyting, she is most likely legitimately uninterested. Don't get stupid taking this idea too far.)

 

[Deafheaven]

I just ignored it and told her I set our date plans and she replies"Yayy!!! I'm so excited!!"

until you have either slept with a chick or are in a relationship (which is pretty much the same we not wifing women we not intimate with here) You use the phone to set dates, thats it. One wrong sentence over text can take her attraction from a 7 to 6 and now you have to work ten times harder because you thought you were being cute. Once she gets to know you you can use the phone when she contacts you but if she one of them chicks who aint got shyt to say over the phone no way keep it short. No one falls in love over the phone, thats fantasy stuff. Get her out the house and see if there is something there. The more you talk on the phone the less of a mystery you are and thats not helping you at all.

 

[ViShawn]

until you have either slept with a chick or are in a relationship (which is pretty much the same we not wifing women we not intimate with here) You use the phone to set dates, thats it. One wrong sentence over text can take her attraction from a 7 to 6 and now you have to work ten times harder because you thought you were being cute. Once she gets to know you you can use the phone when she contacts you but if she one of them chicks who aint got shyt to say over the phone no way keep it short. No one falls in love over the phone, thats fantasy stuff. Get her out the house and see if there is something there. The more you talk on the phone the less of a mystery you are and thats not helping you at all.

Yep backing off...

 

[International Playa]

Now, the scale is meant to transcend wealth/fame/status for reasons that I would love to get into.

There are famous men who cannot keep a woman, and there are absolute players who no one has ever heard of.

There are wealthy men who have been divorced three times over, and broke dudes who can take home almost any chick in the bar.

The same goes for tall/short, fit/fat, any external metric you can think of. This idea requires a leap of faith, but how attractive you are as a friend/romantic partner is pretty much entirely determined by your self esteem. People who can handle competition have more self esteem than people who immediately submit to those around them. People who cooperate with others have more self esteem than those who feel the need to rebel against everyone else.

Whenever we observe a famous person it is important to know that their fame/accomplishments is what feeds into their self esteem, which is what actually makes them attractive. Likewise with money. If you realize that there are other ways to fuel your self esteem besides wealth/status/power then you will no longer feel that you need those things in order to be an attractive person. That small shift in thinking is a game changer.

Just remember, a wealthy person with low self esteem=still unattractive. A famous person who is uncomfortable socially=still unattractive.

For this reason the original statement stands. There are no male 10s. Feel free to disagree with me.

Thats why we preach go to the gym, gym affects your self esteem, which makes you more confident. Women love confident men

 

[International Playa]

@AdvantageSouthpaw this girl has already agreed on a second date & is excited. There is not much work needed, she already interested in you & seeing where things will go. Just relax & enjoy the ride.

Instead of trying to hard to be funny in your texts, send funny memes instead, not too sexual tho.
Memes are a nice ice breaker, to keep things light hearted & fun.

 

[The Odum of Ala Igbo]

Leaving town to start law school. Decided to have tea with the ex before I leave. She was my best friend for 2 years. Unsure if it's worth it. Probably not. However, 'closure' might exist.

 

[Dreamzeedream]

I need to run into a chick I connect with on that level... ain't even about sex no more.. I just want somebody to kick it with, laugh with, be close with...im doing something wrong and I don't know what it is

 

[ViShawn]

I need to run into a chick I connect with on that level... ain't even about sex no more.. I just want somebody to kick it with, laugh with, be close with...im doing something wrong and I don't know what it is

Can you tell me what you are doing now and give an example of one of your dates?

 

[Johnny Kilroy]

Now, the scale is meant to transcend wealth/fame/status for reasons that I would love to get into.

There are famous men who cannot keep a woman, and there are absolute players who no one has ever heard of.

There are wealthy men who have been divorced three times over, and broke dudes who can take home almost any chick in the bar.

The same goes for tall/short, fit/fat, any external metric you can think of. This idea requires a leap of faith, but how attractive you are as a friend/romantic partner is pretty much entirely determined by your self esteem. People who can handle competition have more self esteem than people who immediately submit to those around them. People who cooperate with others have more self esteem than those who feel the need to rebel against everyone else.

Whenever we observe a famous person it is important to know that their fame/accomplishments is what feeds into their self esteem, which is what actually makes them attractive. Likewise with money. If you realize that there are other ways to fuel your self esteem besides wealth/status/power then you will no longer feel that you need those things in order to be an attractive person. That small shift in thinking is a game changer.

Just remember, a wealthy person with low self esteem=still unattractive. A famous person who is uncomfortable socially=still unattractive.

For this reason the original statement stands. There are no male 10s. Feel free to disagree with me.

This is the truth. While being rich, famous and/or handsome can definitely increase opportunities and margin for error, the game must still be played.

We actually lower our own self esteem thinking this way. In elevating a man who doesn't actually deserve it, we're actually devaluing ourselves. Same as putting a woman on a pedestal. She knows she's not perfect, she farts and her p*ssy bleeds, so when we treat them like goddesses we're actually just debasing ourselves, showing that we're less than her, a human being, thus sub-human.

Lotta celebs out here raping girls. Lotta rich dudes paying to play. And a lotta broke nikkas fukkin for free.

I'm not saying that it's impossible, just a long ass journey. I'm not going from a 5 to 9 in 2 years unless I become famous. When I put I meant late 30s.

Goals dealing with women? Or in general? Cause really my goals need to not involve them like I said before I believe my emptiness radiates.

Just start talking to people breh. It really is that easy. Ask questions and let them talk. Respond to what they say. Talk to everyone. If you talk to everyone half of those people will be women and you may find half of them attractive and you may vibe with half of those attractive ones, etc...

Point is, you gotta start and you can't stop. It's difficult approaching a female when you haven't had a light convo with anyone all day. That's like coming off the bench for the first time and being asked to hit the clutch shot. Nah get into the game early. Get loose. Make some layups, get to the line. Easy buckets so in crunch time you're not brand new to this.

 

[ViShawn]

After the alcohol wore off..I just realized how boring my date was last night. She didn't offer any good conversation and she was going through the motions.

 

[HearNoEvil]

After the alcohol wore off..I just realized how boring my date was last night. She didn't offer any good conversation and she was going through the motions.

The way a date goes is your responsibility. How well conversation flows is your responsibility. You are the leader (I'm assuming).

Unless you're saying you're not interested in her.