Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women
- Thread starter Rominati
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If you believe a girl will be attracted to you, you've already done 80% of the work.
Likewise, if you approach while believing that you have no shot, you've only made it that much harder for yourself.
Control your mindframe.
Likewise, if you approach while believing that you have no shot, you've only made it that much harder for yourself.
Control your mindframe.
Men are subject to a value scale just like women, but not physically. We are judged by our social interaction styles.
Men 5 and below do not exist socially. I've only heard myths about such people. If you are introverted to a point of pain, if you talk but feel like no one is listening, if you are, in a word, invisible, you are nonexistent to men and women alike. I suggest speech therapy.
Male 6s are supplicators. These are your beggars, pleaders, and simps. They try to buy affection or guilt people into hanging out with them because they are insecure about their personal value. You are a male 6 if you would describe yourself as, "submissive". You know you are talking to a male 6 because you just feel bad for the guy. Although we are 6 figures 6 certs gang around here I doubt any thorough bread Coli man is a mere 6.
Male 7s are rebels. They are just as insecure as 6s, in fact, these types are likely to be former 6s who decided to fight back. These are the types of people who try to demean others to feel better about themsleves. Haters are 7s. Guys who say, "I didn't want you anyway hoe, you ugly" after getting rejected are 7s. Hormonal thriteen year old little brothers who decide to "buck the system" are 7s. You're more attractive than a 6, but you're just as annnoying. Stop being a 7.
Male 8s are competitors. This where the vast majority of attractive men will place. They are secure in their own value and their defining social interaction is the need to win. They will compete with you for chicks. They will compete with you in Madden. They will compete with you on your career and they will compete with you on the grill. If you like to compete and win, that means your testosterone levels are working properly and you don't have to over think it too much with women. You've probably experienced enough success with them to know that (and more success than most of your boys as well). However, there's another level that you have yet to reach.
Male 9s are cooperative. These men are secure enough in their value that they no longer feel the need to compete. They've come to understand that two or more people can succeed at the same time, and achieve even more by working together than they could seperately. The word for male 9s is, "synergy". These men are truly charistmatic. They smile easy. They are lavish with compliments. People in their prescence straight up feel better, and these guys absolutely melt vaginas.
There are no male 10s. Always be improving.
I'd wager most guys are puttting effort into becoming male 8s. I'm here to say that the most productive use of your time is learning how to be a leader, not another gladiator. Ask yourself how you and this person you just met could possibly win together. Stop looking at interactions with women as a battle for someone to get their way over the other, and see them for what they actually are: a chance to open up a third possibility where you two
enjoy time spent together more than you would've if you were apart (whatever that may entail).
Men are attractive in direct proportion to how good they make the people around them feel.
Men 5 and below do not exist socially. I've only heard myths about such people. If you are introverted to a point of pain, if you talk but feel like no one is listening, if you are, in a word, invisible, you are nonexistent to men and women alike. I suggest speech therapy.
Male 6s are supplicators. These are your beggars, pleaders, and simps. They try to buy affection or guilt people into hanging out with them because they are insecure about their personal value. You are a male 6 if you would describe yourself as, "submissive". You know you are talking to a male 6 because you just feel bad for the guy. Although we are 6 figures 6 certs gang around here I doubt any thorough bread Coli man is a mere 6.
Male 7s are rebels. They are just as insecure as 6s, in fact, these types are likely to be former 6s who decided to fight back. These are the types of people who try to demean others to feel better about themsleves. Haters are 7s. Guys who say, "I didn't want you anyway hoe, you ugly" after getting rejected are 7s. Hormonal thriteen year old little brothers who decide to "buck the system" are 7s. You're more attractive than a 6, but you're just as annnoying. Stop being a 7.
Male 8s are competitors. This where the vast majority of attractive men will place. They are secure in their own value and their defining social interaction is the need to win. They will compete with you for chicks. They will compete with you in Madden. They will compete with you on your career and they will compete with you on the grill. If you like to compete and win, that means your testosterone levels are working properly and you don't have to over think it too much with women. You've probably experienced enough success with them to know that (and more success than most of your boys as well). However, there's another level that you have yet to reach.
Male 9s are cooperative. These men are secure enough in their value that they no longer feel the need to compete. They've come to understand that two or more people can succeed at the same time, and achieve even more by working together than they could seperately. The word for male 9s is, "synergy". These men are truly charistmatic. They smile easy. They are lavish with compliments. People in their prescence straight up feel better, and these guys absolutely melt vaginas.
There are no male 10s. Always be improving.
I'd wager most guys are puttting effort into becoming male 8s. I'm here to say that the most productive use of your time is learning how to be a leader, not another gladiator. Ask yourself how you and this person you just met could possibly win together. Stop looking at interactions with women as a battle for someone to get their way over the other, and see them for what they actually are: a chance to open up a third possibility where you two
enjoy time spent together more than you would've if you were apart (whatever that may entail).
Men are attractive in direct proportion to how good they make the people around them feel.
this is for some of the brehs getting their feet wet. i just want yall to let go of the fear you have approaching women.
STOP overthinking when it comes to approaching females. Sometimes, you see a gorgeous chick and because it happens so fast, because its such a random encounter (ie. walking down the sidewalk) there is nothing you can come up with that is going to be slick or "break the ice". In these situations yall gotta just be honest and forthcoming...but confident above all else. The reason is because if the chick finds you attractive and/or generally feels your demeanor she is going to give you the # regardless of whats said. And if she doesnt, best believe she'll reject you politely 9/10 tines. You'd be surprised how well being straight up works. When I say straight up though I dont mean "damn your ass is fat. You look good. Can i get your number?" Thats too sleezy. But a polite "excuse me, sorry to bother you" and then saying whats on your mind before asking if you can introduce yourself will get the job done. Trust me on this. This even applies if its a girl you are going out of your way to approach.
There have been so many girls I've delt with or fukked just by saying "excuse me, sorry to bother you but i walked past you earlier, and honestly just thought you were very beautiful. If you aint in a rush I was just hoping I could introduce myself and talk to your for a bit". Extend your hand, shake hers, then just take it from there. As how shes doing, what shes up to, where shes from. Give it a couple minutes...say you dont wanna take up her time and have to head to work, class or whatever and just ask for the number.
PS: Sometimes you mighta wanna ask if she has a boyfriend during the initial intro so you dont waste your time, unless you dont mind fukking taken girls. That way if the girl does not have an interest you are also giving her an out to lie, say she has a boyfriend and keep it moving; save yall both some time in the process.
Its that simple brehs. Trust me.
i've done u-turns while walking, i've crossed streets, i've gone into women stores to talk to girls that I saw while going about my day. As long as youre polite there is nothing to lose other than a couple seconds/minutes of your life. No shame in my game and I eat accordingly.
If its at work obviously you got to treat the situation delicately. Stay away from complimenting her looks until yall have built a rapport. Just introduce yourself and ask what shes up to for lunch, or ask her about what she does/her job. Then take the convo from there
This is gold. Sometimes its so much easier than u think. Ive literally opened with " listen I think ur cute and im not the type to play games. Whats ur name?". Somtimes they just love the boldness
Male 10s are celebrities and millionares aka guys who dont have to try just have girls throw themselves at them.
Going by this I'm a 5 but I always knew this
True Blue Moon
Superstar
Work your way to 9 breh.
Agreed, fame does take the social dynamic to an even higher level than cooperating would. Not sure what to call that though (supplicate/rebel/compete/cooperate/???).
How good are you at building relationships with people (friends or romantically)?
If I get there I'll be
I'm terrible at it. And for the other part I'd call the level above cooperative, "controllers". Famous men absolutely control they amount of female company/p*ssy get unless they exclusively go for famous woman.
True Blue Moon
Superstar
If I get there I'll be
Nah, breh. We're getting work in this thread. I'm not in your shoes, but I believe you and take your word that it's an insanely difficult proposition based on your starting point weaknesses. But don't resign yourself to failure by speaking that it's impossible and that you're stuck in a life you don't want to be in.
Throw out a couple of attainable goals, speak on them in the thread so we can help you map out some actions to take toward those goals. Follow through with those actions while checking in to the thread every day for some accountability. Come back to eat this rep when you accomplish your goal. Make the next goal bigger. Wash, rinse, repeat.
I'm not saying that it's impossible, just a long ass journey. I'm not going from a 5 to 9 in 2 years unless I become famous. When I put
I meant late 30s.Goals dealing with women? Or in general? Cause really my goals need to not involve them like I said before I believe my emptiness radiates.
Now, the scale is meant to transcend wealth/fame/status for reasons that I would love to get into.
There are famous men who cannot keep a woman, and there are absolute players who no one has ever heard of.
There are wealthy men who have been divorced three times over, and broke dudes who can take home almost any chick in the bar.
The same goes for tall/short, fit/fat, any external metric you can think of. This idea requires a leap of faith, but how attractive you are as a friend/romantic partner is pretty much entirely determined by your self esteem. People who can handle competition have more self esteem than people who immediately submit to those around them. People who cooperate with others have more self esteem than those who feel the need to rebel against everyone else.
Whenever we observe a famous person it is important to know that their fame/accomplishments is what feeds into their self esteem, which is what actually makes them attractive. Likewise with money. If you realize that there are other ways to fuel your self esteem besides wealth/status/power then you will no longer feel that you need those things in order to be an attractive person. That small shift in thinking is a game changer.
Just remember, a wealthy person with low self esteem=still unattractive. A famous person who is uncomfortable socially=still unattractive.
For this reason the original statement stands. There are no male 10s. Feel free to disagree with me.
There are famous men who cannot keep a woman, and there are absolute players who no one has ever heard of.
There are wealthy men who have been divorced three times over, and broke dudes who can take home almost any chick in the bar.
The same goes for tall/short, fit/fat, any external metric you can think of. This idea requires a leap of faith, but how attractive you are as a friend/romantic partner is pretty much entirely determined by your self esteem. People who can handle competition have more self esteem than people who immediately submit to those around them. People who cooperate with others have more self esteem than those who feel the need to rebel against everyone else.
Whenever we observe a famous person it is important to know that their fame/accomplishments is what feeds into their self esteem, which is what actually makes them attractive. Likewise with money. If you realize that there are other ways to fuel your self esteem besides wealth/status/power then you will no longer feel that you need those things in order to be an attractive person. That small shift in thinking is a game changer.
Just remember, a wealthy person with low self esteem=still unattractive. A famous person who is uncomfortable socially=still unattractive.
For this reason the original statement stands. There are no male 10s. Feel free to disagree with me.
True Blue Moon
Superstar
Check this out though. You're making the estimate that it's going to be a long ass journey with the same mindset that is keeping you struggling.I'm not saying that it's impossible, just a long ass journey. I'm not going from a 5 to 9 in 2 years unless I become famous. When I put
Goals dealing with women? Or in general? Cause really my goals need to not involve them like I said before I believe my emptiness radiates.
Of course a dude that is 300 pounds can't imagine that just putting down the soda, chips and wings and walking every day for 30 minutes could help him drop 20 pounds by next weekend. That's why people either find the will to change within or hire personal trainers to keep them accountable. If you asked the 300 pound dude though, he'd have excuses why it's IMPOSSIBLE to change his diet and that life is short so you gotta eat what you like.
As far as goals, I would never advise putting women on the shelf in the name of getting money and success -- I'd say put them, like everything in your life into its proper perspective and priority.
Example. Women are our mirror. Meaning, your success with women happens to be correlated with the same traits and attitudes that help you get money and career success. Dudes that are timid and weak don't get p*ssy, just like those traits aren't helpful in the landscape of life success.
So if a dude's major fukkup with women is that he is validation seeking, he'll know take that cut and learn from it and apply it in all other areas of his life. If a dude stutters when talking to women, he'll take speech lessons or sign up for toast masters.
Everything is everything, so prioritize, don't separate. Make everything in your life serve you. For instance, make sure any woman in your life adds to it and that she makes you better and cut off any chick that is a distraction. In terms of money, find the tools you need make your money serve you, as opposed to slaving away just to chase money.
When you cultivate self love and improvement, you'll treat life as your kingdom and will keep making it as good as it can be. It's important to be improving through that lens, because saying you're putting women to the side to get your money right COULD be necessary, but is most likely an excuse so that you don't have to worry about putting yourself out there and getting better in that regard.
Because even with money you'll end up being that rich dude buying p*ssy so that you never have to cultivate a personality.
Rant aside, you asked for some guidance about what goals to set. Breh, I'd keep women as a goal, as you secure your other goals as well. As far as that goes, set a BABY goal and keep making it harder as you get better.
For instance, your tomorrow goal could be to say hello to 5 strangers tomorrow in passing. Male or female. Since there's no attachment to outcome with that kind of goal, you're more likely to put yourself out there. Maybe next time you make it to say hello to 5 women.
So on and so forth, while moving toward a milestone goal of having sex, getting a girlfriend, getting a date or whatever it is you want out of this part of your life.
Bottom line, help is available and this doesn't have to be the big problem that you think it is. But it will absolutely, 100% take not just work, but continuously stepping outside of your comfort zone to do things you've never done, so that you can become what you've never been.
Honestly, I may not be cut out for this "get better with women" life after reading this. With my extreme case with women, taking off them the priority listing period seems very necessary. At the end of the day I need to look for fulfillment. And trying to become the dude who's okay hollering at 20 women a day living in his mama's house won't do that. As long as they're being "prioritized" with other aspects of life, there will ways be a sense of needing validation because they've never given it to me. I need to validate myself right now. I spoke on fears of being 30 and not knowing how to have a fling but that's just gonna have to be a fear that is dealt with and conquered because no bytch on Earth will make me happy. That's my responsibility.
True Blue Moon
Superstar
Fair enough breh. Whether it's with women or money, make sure that your validation and happiness comes within. That's a process in itself. Because once you do get out of your parents' crib and get your money super right, you'll need to make sure that you're bringing your happiness to that, as opposed to hoping that the money itself can do it.
Go after your goals relentlessly, but make sure you're also loving yourself. It makes getting the goals 100% more fulfilling and you'll take pride in the hard parts -- which there'll be plenty of any time you're working to better yourself.