Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Ohene]

So i met this chick online brehs. and we’ve been dating for like 2 months now. we’ve gotten real close in a short space of time and I’m real comfortable around her - more than I’ve been with any girl in fact.
She has a good job, her own spot, Car, She’s cultured and comes from a really good family.

A couple days ago, we were at her spot and she was cooking for me and she let me taste a little and i busted out into a little happy dance ( kind of like that one ice-t is doing when he’s eating that bowl of cereal - I’m sure you’ve seen that gif ) anyway she’s like “don’t do that”. I’m like “do what”? she’s like “whatever that just was” I’m like “cool - say no more”. Brushed it off.

A couple days later I’m at her house again and she’s acting all distant like something is bothering her. I ask her whats up many times and she finally gives in and tells me.
She said that she’s kept quiet for a minute and brushed most of it off but she think i display female characteristics. One being that dance i did when she was cooking for me, and the fact i use lip balm a lot. she even was brave enough to actually ask me if I would ever date a guy. I also remember a conversation we had a while ago and she told me she’s worried about me cause the way i act is all new to her and she used to a “Mans, Man”.

I actually bushed her after that comment to be honest, but she was on my phone crying some foolishness about she thinks we could work it out, she’s “kinda” sorry for her comments or whatever.

Every thing in my soul is telling me to bush this chick before she steps to me with more bullshyt, but i don’t know what it is. The sex is amazing, her body is absolutely ridiculous. I partly think i could keep it as a booty call if i go along with her foolishness but I’m not sure its worth the headache.

What do i do my good peoples?

damn...just read this. While I agree with what TRUEST shyt, what the girl said/did was mad disrespectful. The only way for you to bounce back is to flip it on her and let her know how dumb her comments were while distancing yourself. Tell the bytch to lighten up. Lip balm? Happy dance? She sounds like the type to end up in a domestic violence lawsuit or a part of the "she must be crazy if nobody's wifed her" club.

 

[Ohene]

i always hear brothers preach to call call call. there is some merit to that but it is also somewhat archaic. after a long day at work, going to the gym, coming home to cook and/or studying for my CPA shyt the last thing I want to do is talk on the phone to some chick. If it's my girl i might do it just to keep her satisfied and hearing my voice for sometime but other than that nah.

man i used to facetime this girl after 16 hour workshifts and when it got to a point where I was not in the mood to facetime / talk whenever she wanted to she would hold it against me and whine. dont fall into the trap brehs. shyt aint sustainable for a brother who is actually out here handling business

 

[TRUEST]

agree with everything except the bold. a girl cant do shyt to make a man, a man...other than being fukked by said man. In fact, girls will often try their best to do the exact opposite. Many black girls i come across try their hardest to feminize men by getting them to speak a certain way (romantic and sweet), be sensitive, take an interest in certain (typically female) interests, listening to feminine music (like beyonce, rihanna), watching feminine shows (reality TV) etc. Like you said a man has to be strong however. Give in and that attraction will decrease.

making you a man does not mean TEACHING you how to be a man, which is what it appears you may have confused.

a person can be brought into ur life for a purpose said person is not even aware of. there are people out there who (given their unique life experiences, and their own unique personality) are the best tools to smooth out some of the rough edges you may have in your life.

u cant become smart about ur dealings with women UNTIL you've experienced things first hand OR you witness the experiences of others.

in the case of the OP, sure, its cool to chastise the girl and what not, but you would be doing urself a disservice if u refuse to find a lesson in the situation. She clearly has told him on more than one occasion that she got turned off by some things he did. You can take the easy way out and say "aaah shes bugging. somethings wrong wit her". Or, you can try to understand where she's coming from (not just as ur girlfriend, but as a person of the opposite sex, the female gender). If this girl says X/Y/Z turns her off, you can bet your last dollar there are many girls out there like that who get turned off easily by those same things. So in that sense, this girl is teaching you HOW NOT TO TURN HER OFF AGAIN.

ol girl coulda just hit him with the "hey, things arent working out. lets see other people" without giving any explanations. in which case, what would he have learned?

 

[Ohene]

making you a man does not mean TEACHING you how to be a man, which is what it appears you may have confused.

a person can be brought into ur life for a purpose said person is not even aware of. there are people out there who (given their unique life experiences, and their own unique personality) are the best tools to smooth out any rough edges you may have in your life.

u cant become smart about ur dealings with women UNTIL you've experienced things first hand OR you witness the experiences of others.

in the case of the OP, sure, its cool to chastise the girl and what not, but ud be doing urself a disservice is u refuse to find a lesson in the situation. She clearly has told you on more than one occasion that she got turned off by some things you did. You can take the easy way out and say "aaah shes bugging. somethings wrong wit her". Or, you can try to understand where she's coming from (not just as ur girlfriend, but as a person of a opposite sex, the female gender). If this girl says X/Y/Z turns her off, you can bet your last dollar there are many girls out there like that who get turned off easily by those same things. So in that sense, this girl is teaching you HOW NOT TO TURN HER OFF AGAIN.

ol girl coulda just hit him with the "hey, things arent working out. lets see other people" without giving any explanations. in which case, what would he have learned?

agreed.

that "would you ever date a dude" shyt was disrespectful though. my nikka...lip balm? since when is using lip balm a feminine thing. i dont even use it like that...maybe once every morning but i forget often. but she was buggin

 

[prettygiftedgenius]

agreed.

that "would you ever date a dude" shyt was disrespectful though. my nikka...lip balm? since when is using lip balm a feminine thing. i dont even use it like that...maybe once every morning but i forget often. but she was buggin

Precisely why i bushed her. but after she expressed to me some people get turned off by her brute force honesty i thought there actually is a lesson to be learned here. I just cant speak to her the same way anymore. so as we speak im stacking up the roster for her spot on the bench. I told her if you think of me this way now, you're forever going to think this way about me ( i cant change it ) - or nit pick at something else. i might smash it one more time and then bounce.

 

[Ohene]

Precisely why i bushed her. but after she expressed to me some people get turned off by her brute force honesty i thought there actually is a lesson to be learned here. I just cant speak to her the same way anymore. so as we speak im stacking up the roster for her spot on the bench. I told her if you think of me this way now, you're forever going to think this way about me ( i cant change it ) - or nit pick at something else. i might smash it one more time and then bounce.

pretty much man. you can be honest without being crass. she was crass and stupid about it.

i'm at a point where its nothing for me to berate a chick over some disrespect. i'da had that bytch crying as soon as she told me that shyt

 

[Shadow King]

because, most girls with quality want QUALITY time with a her. Anyone can text and and its not the same as vocal communication. Plus if she's on the phone with you, she ain't on the phone with anyone else.

When you meet a woman and get her number, and you're still deciding whether to call or text, do we really know she's "quality"? Being pretty and being in a business suit/skirt means nothing so basically it's call in an attempt to stand out till further notice.

But I'm a cynic of cynics

 

[Shadow King]

been saying this for years. no reason you cant work on yourself and simultaneously fornicate with women. sure you might not attract all the women you want because youre not situated in every facet of your life. But who is? Especially around that mid 20 age. Most girls I meet in their early-mid 20s dont have anything figured out or are just getting their lives sorted out. But what...because they look good drenched in a bunch of make up, got big titties or a big booty youre supposed to bow down to them?

that shyt is backwards.

Fulfillment. For some dude (like me) if you're not situated the way you should be, shyt not going your way with women could bother you more than it should.

 

[Ohene]

Fulfillment. For some dude (like me) if you're not situated the way you should be, shyt not going your way with women could bother you more than it should.

thats true. but what you dont realize is that dealing with these girls can just as easily make you feel better about yourself. It's more about trial/error and learning from mistakes at yall stages. You gotta crawl before you walk. I have been dissed in some absolutely mortifying ways but I always dusted myself off and seize the next opportunity. Now its nothing for me to approach a girl. I dont even think twice cause If I'm dissed it's not a big deal.

It's tough but yall gotta stop internalizing all the issues that come with women. Women are fickle creatures. Sometimes we fukk up but you can just as easily do every single thing right and be shytted on, ghosted, dissed, passed on etc. Its not always about us.An inexperienced dude with all his shyt together is no better than a simp or a mark. First decent woman to come your way will strip you of everything if youre not careful and hip to the ways of females.

 

[HearNoEvil]

You want to see beauty; she wants to see dominance. You're free to take charge more often.

 

[Shadow King]

thats true. but what you dont realize is that dealing with these girls can just as easily make you feel better about yourself. It's more about trial/error and learning from mistakes at yall stages. You gotta crawl before you walk. I have been dissed in some absolutely mortifying ways but I always dusted myself off and seize the next opportunity. Now its nothing for me to approach a girl. I dont even think twice cause If I'm dissed it's not a big deal.

It's tough but yall gotta stop internalizing all the issues that come with women. Women are fickle creatures. Sometimes we fukk up but you can just as easily do every single thing right and be shytted on, ghosted, dissed, passed on etc. Its not always about us.An inexperienced dude with all his shyt together is no better than a simp or a mark. First decent woman to come your way will strip you of everything if youre not careful and hip to the ways of females.

I'll feel better about myself simply dealing with women only if shyt is going my way. If not I'll be regressing back to 16. That happens for some of us. If my esteem dependa on the presence of a pretty face and p*ssy how fragile is it in he hands of such fickle creatures? Strange thing is I may start putting myself in more situations where women are around but still can't bring myself to "jump out there" because if I'm not a fan of myself why would some random broad be?

At the end of the day if a breh ain't got shyt going but still pimping, good for him. But if another knows he should be more, for his own validation and a bit of insulation for the days of being shytted on, ghosted, dragged in the mud, more power to that man also.

Everyone can't hit the field with no pads and helmet.

 

[DaddyFresh]

Met this Nigerian goddess of tinder. Taking her to this lit/lowkey bar/club is the best way of describing it.
If she ain't talking about shyt. There's gonna be countless other women to saviour my night.
I don't lose

Whenever you take broads out make sure it's in your home court

 

[International Playa]

i always hear brothers preach to call call call

Nikkaz better understand the woman you getting to know has 2-5 guys texting her tryna hit too. When you call you separate yourself from other brehs & the female has your full attention.

Women love talking, get on the phone & call her.

Texting is only for women you already fukked & are in some type of relationship with.

 

[TRUEST]

We're all about manning up but this one just seems like you're gonna have to let her go do her. She sees it as some sissy stuff, whereas another chick just as bad might laugh her ass off at the dance and appreciate that you keep your lips up for kissing

It's one thing if she's pointing out habits you already don't like about yourself, but if you feel good doing a happy dance and using lip balm then stand on it and let her make whatever life decision she needs to from there breh.

Nah, knowing girls, I highly doubt the few things she pointed out are the actual deal breakers. Somethings are just too fragile or awkward to bring up. Dude is most likely doing many feminine things. This is often the case for men who were raised in a women dominated household.

 

[International Playa]

@Shadow King Are you Kent nikka? Every piece advice anyone gives you, you got an excuse

With your mentality you wont improve with women out here. Change the way you think breh.

You gotta really want it, you clearly dont want it.