Arghh they are stuck in my head from the moment I wake up right until I go to sleep, and even then sometimes they have the nerve to even enter in my dream. I go from loving to hating, happiness to anger, my appetite has diminished, my confidence is in the sewer and I’ll never ever experience love or anyone attracted to me ever again.
I constantly check my phone why won’t they call? Why won’t they text, I’ve been replaced/forgotten I can’t believe it. And to make things worse I just can’t stop checking their Facebook, looking at their photos…wow they have never looked so good, reading their tweets, googling their name hoping for even a sliver of information about them even though all of this sets me back time and time again. When oh when will I be “normal” and happy again?
The good news is that you won’t always feel this way because time does heal. Time that precious beautiful commodity will one day bring you back to the enclave of indifference. Many prisoners instead of doing nothing but serving out their sentence, will take advantage of courses while locked up and leave with new found skills and education; And on the other side in the midst of heartbreak you are somewhat a prisoner of your own mind/emotions, you can sit around and serve out sentence or you can use this opportunity to work on yourself.
The good news part two is that eventually whatever you are holding onto, jealously, bitterness, an emotional connection or even exceptional memories you shared with that person will fade in due time. More happy moments of you and what life has to offer will take over while the sad ones become smaller and smaller, memories will pop up but in shorter spurts and you’ll have a meh attitude as your mind shifts into more important things. The urges to check up on them will fade away, acceptance and removal of the rose coloured glasses will make you think clearly and logical as you look at your former self and just laugh at how you were in the gutter.
The good news part three is that you will reach the point of realizing that they were not that special. Your life was fine all those years without them and will be fine again in due time without them. They were imperfect humans with faults and do not deserve to be put on a pedestal in your mind.
To put it bluntly the scales tipped, and you became less valuable to them than you were worth at one point – I call this a underwater relationship (underwater mortgage - Underwater mortgages are mortgage arrangements that effectively leave the owner with more debt on the property than the current market). While that’s not to say that you did something wrong to yield things that way, the situation is that when someone truly values you enough, they will make an effort to work out issues whatever they may be. They want issues to be worked out and they will compromise and communicate. Always remember if an individual truly cares, trust me they will meet you halfway.
However when someone is finished with you, they desire things to break down, they intend to blame you for inconsequential things, however it all comes down to not perceiving you of value.
As time goes on your old self will return but in a much better form, time is the great equalizer and soon you will the freedom of being yourself again.