So you have been single for a while, it seems everyone you know is in a relationship, getting married or having kids. Oh my everyone is passing me by, and to boot they look so happy nibbles on fingernails; you have your checkpoints what you desire in a partner but thoughts of loneliness are starting to creep in. I’m too picky, maybe oh maybe I should just compromise and settle who knows maybe I will be happy. To make it worse the constant pressure from society and others – Why aren’t you married yet? As if there is something wrong with you that you haven’t achieved this act before a certain age.
Firstly, emotions can trick your mind by creating false realizations. One should never envy the life of another, or their relationship status and look at it as some sort of accomplishment. It’s so easy to be in a relationship but hard to be in and maintain a great one.
Secondly, it’s so easy to buy into the happy illusion that is sold. Everybody looks happy and living a blissful life from afar especially on social media, as it shows the best of someone as they can filter what is seen which may not match up to the reality. I remember being in disastrous relationships and a photo smiling was posted on Facebook and the awws, wow you guys are perfect for each other, when it was a living nightmare. In essence focus on what you have, embrace it, don’t compare your life with others and learn to be content with what you have, because not everything that looks glittery to you is gold.
Thirdly you cannot put a deadline on yourself or more than likely you will end up with the wrong person. Patience Patience Patience and I stress patience….nothing in life is guaranteed or anything mandatory to live a life of fulfillment.
I know first-hand the risks of settling aka being with someone knowing they were not the best for me and I was not the best for them, but just trudging along because meh it was better than being alone. I compromised my values and basic requirements and all it did was depress and stress me out. So I put a stake in the ground and decided that I refuse to settle - I’m either going to find someone that meets my checkpoints or I’m going to stay single.
And I’m totally fine with any outcome, I know I could casually date, I could hop into a relationship, I could appease to others looking in like there is something wrong with me, validate any perception of status/desirability easily but substance and quality is something I will not compromise, so I have no problem :kony: and just living life as I’ve come to the point of locating happiness in feeling 100% in charge of my life and my emotions. So I stress the point to forget the pressures of society and how others may judge you, no one else is living your life nor paying your bills. If you rely on other people for anything, happiness, love, to fill a void more than likely you will end up unhappy after a devastating string of constant disappointments.
Lastly, life regardless of circumstances is breathtaking and filled with unexpected surprises. Cherish it daily, regardless if you are single continue to grow in terms of your character, appreciate your freedom and time alone; remember that loneliness is just a state of mind. Cultivate a stronger relationship with your parents and close friends, volunteer, travel, invest in yourself no one knows what the future holds but having a positive outlook and holding fast to your morals will make the trip on life’s journey so much more easier!