Honestly I think it's done and never coming back, I talked to her today and she still is on how I thrashed her
All I said is she has doubts, she gave me back the ring, I'm embarrassed, and lold when my friend said she wished she could slap her
This ish is outrageous and I'm throwing in the towel eff it.
Whether you were right or wrong for what you did, and regardless of to what degree -- the bottom line is that she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with you. Even if her beef with you is justified, which it is, a woman who is down for the long haul would be emotional because you hurt her, BUT actively looking for and hoping for reasons to make up and get back to love. A woman who wants to build a world with you will put up with so much more shyt than this, especially if and when you come correct as a man and apologize.
Likewise, any woman can get cold feet during an engagement, but a woman who is down for you will have a nuanced conversation about it and feed off your strength and vision for where you're leading y'all, as opposed to just giving the ring back and calling it off.
So even though she has a point on being upset, this argument is way more about the big picture of her not wanting to get married to you. If you need to audit the relationship and take some information that will help you with your next one, great. But don't think that fixing the incident with you texting your home girl will do anything to help your current situation whatsoever.
Her reasons for everything that happened with the called off engagement and this argument all boil down to something along the lines of "I don't see a future with you", "My family/friends put doubts in my head and it woke me up", "Something is missing with my sexual attraction to you", "I'm scared because this is it and I'm not ready to shut down my world and options", etc. However, women are
feeling creatures, so she's going to act out in these ways, as opposed to boiling down whatever the issue is in three sentences or less.
After getting past this friend texting thing, you're going to leave a dish out, forget to dump the trash or not text her goodnight or something stupid, and these "I don't know about us" moments will keep happening. It's going to feel like she's crazy. She's not crazy, this is just how most women emote.
So it's on you to read between the lines and know what you know, so you can put you both out of your misery and end it -- or give her the space to figure out whatever she needs to, while you also go do you. But if you let her keep you stuck on following the symptoms, you're only going to get taken on an emotional roller coaster ride that gets worse and worse.
It's in her nature to end things in a dramatic and emotionally tumultuous way, because that's how she processes her feelings. That's her comfort zone, but you don't have to go for an emotionally abusive ride as she gets you out of her system. If you want to process things with your sanity intact, you gotta set a boundary and find your own peace, instead of following her lead.