So then at a spot a week ago, this 32 year old was doing it to me. She was hitting on me, yes, but whatever answer I gave, she would like interrupt and spin it. Phonetically or otherwise. It's pretty fascinating from some standpoint, but annoying in person. It's flirtatious, but also like a kid would talk or even think. And it's happened when there was no flirting.
For example, something like "I ordered the bacon strips", OMG what? You are going to naked strip?"
That's a bad example, and more flirty, but kind of close to that, but like repeatedly.
TL/DR - You gotta socialize broads as part of your rap, but you need to socialize people as part of your rap generally. ..
I don't know if 2 things make a pattern, but my thoughts on chicks that are breaking social "norms"
- That's their personality. I just recently watched the 1st episode of The Rehearsal - and dude's female friend is well past the "young" stage - and she just never learned how to have a conversation.
- They're used to talking to people that give them a lot of leash/don't assert themselves.
- They don't know how to converse. (based on lack of experience/socialized by the net)
- They don't know how to flirt. (based on lack of experience/socialized by the net)
- They're intimidated and nervous.
My default is to think it's their personal quirk, not the worse option - they've (and their entire generation) been poorly socialized and really don't know how to operate, don't know how to feel, and just react to things randomly.
In any event, the "can't get a word in edge wise" or "chick being way too familiar" - is the same issue that it always was.
The man has to lead the conversation, and subtly or not-so subtly has to punish and reward her behavior. - Breaking eye contact, pulling back, tonal shifts, facial expressions, arm touches, abrupt changes of subject, pausing in the conversation to create the void - all the standard "game" stuff. (game with a lower case "g")
All of those things aren't really taught, much less practiced - but they're the behavior/personality of people that really get it.
I'm a bit out of practice with the nonverbals and the subtextual moves - so I'll just go "orthogonal". I'll flank her army of words about a particular topic, by asking about her. (Females do this all the time, when you're talking about X, you're right, she's wrong - but she raises the "tone" issue. "I don't like your tone" - which is a way of derailing the conversation and putting her back "on top")
WIA - Yeah, that's why Black people need to do ...
Chica - I really shoulda bought that Black Dress
WIA - You sound like your mind is somewhere else, tell me about it.
I want to "catch" her. I need to catch her on my end.
Ideally she realizes that she's talking to me wrong, but chicks either know and don't care, or just don't know, cause they've never dealt with someone that's "on their level", much less someone that's above.
So she's gonna talk about the need for the black dress or whatever.
It's not what I want to talk about, but I do want to be in charge of the flow.
She's the spigot, but I turn the knob. I direct the water hose. She just sprays whatever.
Now that we're both in sync with the conversation - I can (within the rules of social norms) - interrupt her with on topic questions - which slows her roll, but also puts me in charge of the tempo of the conversation.
Moreover the types of questions I flip between
On Topic - "Oh really, what kind of black dress"
and
On Her - "you look/sound like the type that would wear that"
So in terms of these chicks, what we talk about is not really important to me (at first), but basically getting her on my program is. The tone of the conversation and the direction of the conversation is more important than the topic, for me.
So even if she's "dominating" the conversation, I'm basically putting guard rails around her energy and being in charge of it.
Cause in my mind, she can talk 90% of the time, I'm just the person that is in the driver's seat in terms of feed back and acceptance.
Because she's looking to vent, looking for acceptance, looking to derail, looking to flirt. These chicks want to see how much they can affect you (this is all unconscious, 99% of the time) - and you have to be able to "win" by letting her "win".
This is kinda hard to write out, but if y'all have Netflix - there's a new show called "The Beast in Me" - and the first scene with Claire Danes and Matthew Rhys (all of their scenes actually) - he's very good at messing with the direction and tone of the conversation by hitting her with all sorts of things. It's really a master class in game (and acting), but the technical stuff (aka the deeper game) about hollering at broads/dealing with people folks really aren't interested in.
