I'm slipping brehs

.
Need the slap I'll only get from the Coli

.
Getting caught up with a girl from my past. She was everything I wanted in a girl. Head straight, focused, intelligent, loyal, good looks but not outta this world plus we just gel. I even get along with her family, the first day I met her fam I was supposed to pick her up but ended up drinking until 6am with her step-dad and doing the macarena on the edge of their pool

.
What went wrong? She went away, got a got into a long term relationship and had a kid

.
I need to be stopped before stepping into that shyt, those moments are starting to come pouring back when we speak.
The real fukked up part is in my head I have this ridiculous monolog like:
"She's different, she was never a thot"
"Yeah but she was virtuous enough to get knocked up

"
"She's always been loyal in her relationships"
"Yeah, she gon be real loyal when her baby daddy comes round while you at work

"
"We've always had a connection"
" Yeah, now you gonna need to add a third party to that connection

"