I think I am officially over the mental hurdle of being a small-framed dude and am willing to abandon bulk/cut cycles for good
I can't say for sure because feelings change, but I think I am ready to switch to a permanent maintenance level. I'm too old for this shyt and my hip adductor strain has really opened my eyes to my lack of invincibility and I can finally practice what I preach (cariovasuclar and bloodwork health and fitness above aesthetics and excessive strength gain).
I am as strong as I need to be. I'm not a competing athlete, I have no need to ever squat above 225 or deadlift above 315 or use risky form to push bigger and bigger weights or to use stupid volume and kill my shoulders and joints so I can get some puffy glycogen muscles.
Walking through the locker room today and seeing that steam room moisture glistening off my abs in the mirror

....I hate putting on 10 lbs during a bulk cycle and having my gut reduced to a morning 2 pack just so I can add a pound or two of actual real muscle tissue at best
My original goal was 170 lbs at 10% BF, but I think that I'm going to come up 10 lbs short. I'm sure I can still pack on muscle at a snails pace eating at maintenance, but if I don't then oh well. I'm good.